Stupid things a wife can do to mess up her marriage

 

 In his latest relationship teaching, renowned family counselor and Christian writer Dr. John Mining has released a candid warning to married women, titled “Stupid things a wife can do to mess up her marriage.”

The message, which has been widely shared in Christian family forums, outlines common but costly mistakes that many wives make — often unintentionally — that end up damaging their marriages, weakening intimacy, and creating space for division.

“Marriage is sacred, but carelessness, pride, or spiritual negligence can destroy what God joined together,” Dr. Mining writes. “These mistakes may seem small, but their effects can be devastating.”

1. Daring her husband to beat her

Dr. Mining warns that some women provoke physical confrontation by daring or challenging their husbands in anger. “It is unwise and dangerous,” he says. “Wisdom demands calmness, not confrontation. Words can heal or destroy.”

2. Neglecting to dress well after marriage

He notes that some wives stop paying attention to their appearance once they get married.

“Looking good for your husband is not vanity; it is value,” he advises. “A woman should remain attractive to her man. Marriage is not the end of beauty.”

3. Denying her husband sex

Quoting 1 Corinthians 7:5, Dr. Mining reminds wives not to deprive their husbands of intimacy.

“Sex in marriage is not a favor; it is fellowship. Denying your spouse regularly creates distance, temptation, and frustration.”

4–7. Carelessness with housemaids

He warns against leaving domestic responsibilities — and even emotional access — entirely in the hands of housemaids.

“Don’t abdicate your place in your home,” he cautions. “Many women have employed their rivals unknowingly.”

Employing a fully grown or attractive housemaid, he adds, may expose the home to unnecessary temptation and tension.

8. Using an ‘analog brain’ in a digital marriage

Dr. Mining urges women to grow intellectually and socially alongside their husbands.

“If your husband is evolving, don’t be static,” he writes. “Upgrade your thinking, your knowledge, and your spiritual life. You cannot build a modern marriage with an outdated mindset.”

9. Failing to commit the family to God

“Prayer is the oxygen of the home,” Dr. Mining teaches. “A wife who stops praying stops protecting her family. Hand your marriage over to God daily.”

10. Fighting her mother-in-law

He warns that fighting a husband’s mother is a battle no wife can win.

“She’s been with her son before you were born,” Dr. Mining explains. “Show respect, use wisdom, and set healthy boundaries in love.”

11. Discussing sex life with friends

Dr. Mining cautions wives never to discuss their private sexual matters with friends.

“Loose talk destroys trust. You may be arming your rival with confidential information,” he says. “Protect your marriage from friendly fire.”

12. Reporting the husband to his mother

“Never report your husband to his mother,” he warns. “Seek counsel from neutral mentors or spiritual leaders. Mothers will almost always take their sons’ side.”

13. Letting children replace the husband

He observes that many women unconsciously neglect their husbands once children arrive.

“Your children need love, but your husband needs connection,” he writes. “Never let the baby become a barrier between you and your spouse.”

14. Using sex as a weapon or manipulation tool

Dr. Mining concludes with a warning against using sex to control or punish the husband.

“Sex should unite, not divide,” he says. “It is the glue of marital intimacy, not a bargaining chip.”

A final word of wisdom

Dr. Mining’s message ends with a prayer:“May we never use our own hands to destroy the homes we built. May God continue to guide and protect our marriages from evil and pride.”