Dr. John Mining: 15 Rules of Courtship Every Christian Should Know

 

By Dr. John Mining

In today’s fast-paced world, relationships often begin and end in haste, leaving many young people unprepared for the lifelong commitment of marriage. In response to this growing concern, Christian relationship guidance expert Dr. John Mining has outlined 15 rules of courtship aimed at helping couples build strong, God-centered relationships before marriage.

1. Be ready for marriage.
Dr. Mining emphasizes that courtship should only begin if both parties are prepared for marriage within the next two to five years. “Courtship is not casual dating,” he says. “It is a period of preparation for lifelong commitment.”

2. End past relationships.
Couples are advised to fully close previous relationships to avoid emotional baggage. “Ex means extinct,” Dr. Mining stresses. “Anything that belonged to the past should remain there.”

3. Communicate openly.
Courtship is a time to talk—about dreams, goals, marital expectations, and even potential disagreements. Honest communication lays the foundation for a lasting marriage.

4. Know each other’s weaknesses.
Understanding a partner’s flaws and assessing whether you can live with them is crucial, says Dr. Mining.

5. Learn godly roles.
Women are encouraged to submit to their husband’s leadership, while men are called to lead with love and by example.

6. Avoid romantic and sexual activity.
Couples are warned against engaging in romance or sexual intimacy before marriage. “Flee youthful lust,” Dr. Mining urges.

7. Maintain financial and personal boundaries.
Courtship is not the time to manage a partner’s chores or finances. Both parties should remain independent and avoid overextending themselves to please the other.

8. Pray and study Scripture together.
Spiritual growth together strengthens the relationship. Dr. Mining encourages couples to pray, read, and discuss the Bible daily.

9. Celebrate each other’s achievements.
Mutual admiration and respect are key. Pet names or overly intimate behavior that could lead to temptation are discouraged.

10. Avoid private and potentially compromising situations.
Couples should refrain from meeting in dark, secluded places and avoid clubbing or partying.

11. Steer clear of sin.
Every aspect of the courtship should reflect holiness and purity, with the ultimate goal of a heaven-bound relationship.

Dr. Mining concludes, “Courtship is a sacred time to grow together in love, respect, and faith. By following these 15 rules, couples can build a marriage that is not only successful but also spiritually fulfilling.”