A Call for a More Inclusive Approach to Ending GBV – Men Are Victims Too

By Phanice Rono

Throughout the End GBV season, the message was clear and unwavering: women are the primary victims of gender-based violence (GBV). This emphasis made sense, as women have suffered in silence for years, with campaigns working hard to bring their stories to the forefront. Yet, as the conversation progressed, some men began to voice their concerns, claiming that the discussion was biased. Initially, these concerns were often dismissed, but things started to shift when videos of men being abused by women surfaced online.

It’s important to acknowledge that gender-based violence has always affected men, but society has rarely given their suffering the attention it deserves. The reason? Society’s rigid definition of masculinity.

From a young age, boys are socialized to be tough, strong, and emotionally restrained. The pressure to conform to these ideals often results in mockery rather than support when men experience abuse. They’re frequently asked why they didn’t fight back, why they allowed it to happen, or why they seem weak. The situation becomes even more complicated when women are the abusers. In such cases, abuse is often dismissed or trivialized, with the male victim being ridiculed rather than supported.

Nowhere in the conversation about GBV is it written that only women are victims. Violence has no gender, and our fight against it should reflect that reality. Ending gender-based violence requires uncomfortable honesty – a willingness to accept that men can be victims, too, and that women can be perpetrators. Without this understanding, many survivors, particularly men, will remain unheard.

The pushback from some men during the End GBV season wasn't about undermining the struggles of women, but about the need for a more inclusive dialogue. Men’s voices were too often perceived as an attempt to compete with women's suffering, but recognizing the pain of one group does not diminish the experiences of the other. Power, control, and harmful social norms are central to GBV, and while women are disproportionately affected, men are also victims. Campaigns that focus exclusively on one gender inadvertently silence those who are quietly suffering in the background.

Social media has, in some ways, filled the gap left by traditional media and advocacy spaces. Videos of men being abused by women began circulating online, as these platforms offer a space for male victims to share their experiences. However, the way people consume these videos is deeply concerning. Many respond by laughing, sharing the content as jokes, or dismissing the abuse as exaggerated or theatrical. This reaction demonstrates that society is more comfortable mocking male pain than confronting it.

If we truly want to end gender-based violence, we need to challenge the harmful societal expectations placed on men. Telling men they must always be strong, unemotional, and dominant does not protect anyone – not women, not families, and not men themselves. These narrow definitions of masculinity create shame, silence, and perpetuate unchecked violence. They discourage men from seeking help and allow abuse to go unnoticed.

The reality is that in order to truly fight gender-based violence, we must acknowledge that it affects everyone, regardless of gender. Only then can we build a society where no victim remains unheard, and no abuser goes unchallenged.