The Psychology of Hating Strangers Unmasking a Disturbing Modern Reality

By John Kariuki

Dr Ekrah Ndung'u, Chairperson of the Kenya National Association of Private Colleges KENAPCO, is sounding a warning about a growing crisis in our society. People today are quick to hate, often without reason, evidence, or personal interaction. They hate strangers, people they have never met or spoken to, and know nothing about. This disturbing trend, she argues, reflects a society slowly losing its capacity for empathy.

According to Dr Ekrah, the rise in online trolling, casual character assassinations, and unwarranted hostility is a symptom of a deeper emotional and social malaise. “A nation that neglects empathy risks becoming heartless,” she emphasizes. “We must recognize that condemning strangers without understanding them diminishes our collective humanity.”

She explains that much of this hostility stems from fear. When people encounter someone unfamiliar in culture, belief, or behaviour, the mind instinctively perceives a threat. The unknown becomes suspicious, suspicion turns to fear, and fear can escalate into hatred. Yet this animosity is rarely grounded in personal experience. It is a narrative constructed by assumptions, biases, and misinformation.

Dr Ekrah further highlights the role of social conditioning in fostering prejudice. From childhood, people absorb subtle cues about whom to trust and whom to avoid. These learned divisions build invisible walls between individuals and groups. Hate becomes a misguided badge of loyalty, a psychological defense against perceived outsiders.

Much of the hostility, she explains, is also a reflection of internal conflict. People project their insecurities, frustrations, and unresolved emotions onto strangers. Anger directed at others often has little to do with the target and everything to do with the person expressing it. Subconscious triggers may also play a role, activating negative associations from past experiences. A glance, a tone, or even a resemblance to someone from the past can provoke instant dislike.

Ignorance and misinformation compound the problem. Biased media, rumours, and stereotypes offer distorted portrayals of people never personally encountered. Hatred is inherited rather than experienced. People judge entire groups based on distorted stories rather than actual interactions.

Yet Dr Ekrah is clear that this pattern can be reversed. Hate is learned, and it can be unlearned. Empathy, education, and meaningful dialogue are powerful antidotes. When people engage with those they once feared or judged, understanding replaces hostility. Preconceived barriers crumble, and what was once hate can transform into respect, connection, or friendship.

She urges society to place emotional intelligence at the forefront. “Empathy is not optional,” Dr Ekrah asserts. “It is essential for social cohesion, national harmony, and the well-being of our citizens. Choosing compassion over condemnation, curiosity over judgement, and understanding over assumption restores our shared humanity.”

In a world where strangers attack strangers with alarming ease, Dr Ekrah reminds us that empathy is an act of courage. It is the only path toward a gentler, more emotionally intelligent society and the reclamation of the humanity that is slipping away.