Guarding the Heart: Dr. John Mining Warns Against Emotional Affairs in Marriage

By Dr. John Mining

 Marriage counselors and faith leaders are increasingly raising alarms over what they describe as a silent but growing threat to marital stability: emotional affairs. In a recent teaching, relationship advocate and Christian author Dr. John Mining warned that many marriages are not destroyed overnight by physical infidelity, but slowly eroded by unguarded emotions and misplaced intimacy.

“People do not enter marriage planning to cheat,” Dr. Mining said. “But many end up in affairs because they relaxed their boundaries when they should have been alert with all their senses.”

According to Dr. Mining, emotional affairs often begin innocently—through friendly conversations, shared problems, or casual compliments with someone of the opposite sex. Over time, these interactions can create emotional bonds that rival or replace marital intimacy.

He emphasized that being married requires intentional discipline, especially in relationships with the opposite sex. “You can be respectful, godly, and kind without being emotionally available,” he noted. “Overconfidence and misplaced spirituality have destroyed many homes.”

Among the key warnings highlighted by Dr. Mining are the dangers of sharing personal struggles with an opposite-sex friend, maintaining lingering eye contact, engaging in flirtation, or having private conversations during moments of vulnerability such as sadness, fatigue, or sexual desire. He stressed that such moments cloud judgment and can lead to decisions that cause lifelong regret.

Dr. Mining also cautioned against modern digital temptations, including social media activity that portrays one as sexually attractive or reconnecting with former partners without transparency. “What you will not eat, don’t bring it to your nose,” he said, using a proverb to illustrate the importance of avoiding temptation altogether.

Central to his message was a call for couples to invest intentionally in their marriages. “Work on your marriage. Keep the fire of love and romance alive,” he urged. “When you focus only on your spouse’s weaknesses, bitterness grows, and the heart begins to wander in search of someone who ‘understands’ you.”

Quoting scripture, Dr. Mining reminded couples to “flee from all appearances of evil,” adding that emotional affairs often pave the way for sexual ones. “Don’t start what you cannot finish,” he warned.

He concluded with a prayerful charge to married couples: “Protect your family. Guard your heart. May you not take a step that will lead to eternal regret.”

As emotional affairs continue to challenge marriages worldwide, Dr. Mining’s message serves as a sobering reminder that faithfulness is not only physical—but deeply emotional and intentional.