Dr. John Mining Lists 10 Critical Questions Every Couple Should Ask Before Marriage

 

In a world where the divorce rate continues to rise and many marriages collapse within the first few years, renowned relationship coach and author Dr. John Mining has released a list of “10 Simple Questions You Should Ask Your Partner in Courtship” — a practical guide aimed at helping couples lay a strong foundation before saying “I do.”

According to Dr. Mining, courtship is not merely a romantic phase, but a time for serious and intentional conversations that will shape the future of any marriage. In his words, "There is no accidental success in marriage. What you don’t plan for, you will never experience."

Here are the 10 essential questions couples should ask, as outlined by Dr. Mining:

1. Are You Born Again or Born Against?

Dr. Mining emphasizes spiritual alignment as the bedrock of marital unity. “If Jesus Christ is not the Lord of both your lives, you’re on a collision course,” he warns.

2. What is Your Vision?

Vision goes beyond vague ambitions. “Saying ‘I want to be successful’ isn’t enough. Your vision must be clear, measurable, and purposeful,” says Dr. Mining. He encourages asking about long-term goals, whether career, ministry, or philanthropy, to ensure alignment of values.

3. Which Church Will You Attend After the Wedding?

Differences in church doctrines or unwillingness to fellowship together can create spiritual disunity. Dr. Mining advises couples to resolve this early.

4. How Much Do You Earn?

While money can be a sensitive topic, financial transparency is key. “You must know how to plan together. Finances can make or break a marriage,” he asserts.

5. What Are Your Financial Plans?

Beyond current income, couples should discuss growth strategies. This includes investments, side businesses, and future earning potential.

6. Have You Been Sexually Active in the Past?

Understanding your partner's sexual history, Dr. Mining says, can help manage expectations and foster intimacy without judgment.

7. What Are Your Sexual Expectations?

He recommends asking this closer to the wedding, especially for couples who prefer to avoid premature sexual discussions. The goal is to understand and prepare to meet each other’s emotional and physical needs.

8. What Is Your Love Language?

Quoting Dr. Gary Chapman’s well-known concept, Dr. Mining urges couples to ask about love languages—whether it’s acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, or physical touch.

9. What Can I Ever Do That Will Make You Divorce Me?

Though he affirms that God hates divorce, Dr. Mining says it’s wise to understand deal-breakers early. Whether it’s infidelity or abuse, these hard conversations are vital.

10. What Are Your Family Planning Goals?

How many children? How soon? Dr. Mining encourages couples to discuss parenting timelines and spacing to avoid emotional and financial strain.